A Prayer To Live With Grace

May we discover through pain and torment,
the strength to live with grace and humor.
May we discover through doubt and anguish,
the strength to live with dignity and holiness.
May we discover through suffering and fear,
the strength to move toward healing.
May it come to pass that we be restored to health and to vigor.
May Life grant us wellness of body, spirit, and mind.
And if this cannot be so, may we find in this transformation and passage
moments of meaning, opportunities for love
and the deep and gracious calm that comes when we allow ourselves to move on.

A dear friend of my parents passed away this weekend; Bailey. My mother and I, far too similar for our own good, butt heads a lot and had been in a phase of avoiding each other (yes, we live in different states). But it took me about 1 second to pick up the phone and call home when I heard the news. The hardest part is she is feeling guilty about not being a better friend when he had said he wasn't feeling well. She feels she should've called again, gone over, done something. The thing with growing older, is you have to grow up. Every day, more and more, I see how much my parents sacrifice and give to be parents. I've found my mother leaning on me in times of need an easier burden to bare. I don't mean to come across selfish or ungrateful, but I think everyone has those moments in life when the child is now taking care of the parent. I'm just saying I'm glad that I embrace this role reversal, and I'm honored that she does turn to me and that I am able to be there for her... though it isn't always easy....

I obviously was not as close to Bailey as my parents, but his passing has hit me in an a way I wasn't expecting. I hear his voice, in my head. I'm not sure if those reading this will now think me a little off my rocker, but I can't get it out. He would always make these stupid ridiculously dry sarcastic jokes that he thought highly funny and I would nervously laugh because I never had anything to say in response. But he always made me feel so welcome wherever we were, always made a point to introduce me to people so I never felt out of place. He was always so interested in me and what was going on my life. We would have wonderful conversations. Obviously not living at home anymore, the only times I really saw him was around holidays at parties and at horse races and point-t0-points in Virginia. I love that this is how I picture him, all decked out, surrounded by the beautiful countryside (bourbon in hand)... It is such a strange feeling to know I will never hear his voice or see him again.. He will be missed.

RIP Bailey

And please pray for Dr. Cook, and all those hoping and waiting for his health to improve.....