Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Walking with..........

Pneumonia... yep.. I have pneumonia. I was going to write more but "Baby It's Cold Outside" just had a line with "if you got pneumonia and died" so I think I'm going to go do something else for a minute until this song is over.

But big day for me consisted of going to become an offical North Carolina Resident. YES, a year later, I'm official. I got the lighthouse on it. I LIKE IT

Monday, November 19, 2007

Pumpkin pies and other scrumptious things

Not only do I love baking, but I love the smell of my house while I'm doing it. I love showing up with a pie and noone believing I actually made it (though they're starting to give me the benefit of the doubt now). I love how I'm anxious for the first person to try it because I'm nervous it turned out badly. You can't exactly cut out a piece and try it before you serve it to guests!! Really though, how can you mess up a pie. Right now, I'm cooking a pumpkin cheesecake and i made a caramel whipped topping to go on it. Very healthy, lowfat no calories actually... right.

Watched the American Music Awards last night. Not too shabby ABC. I must say, all time best performance of the night, Rihanna and Jay-Z. They sounded and looked fabulous.

One more day of school, then out for the rest of the week. Heading back up to good ol' VA. I do love home...............

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Big girls don't cry

I dont think it matters how old you get, when you are sick, you want someone to come take care of you. I want my toast, bacon, and gingerale. As much as you want to be left alone, all you want is someone to call, to come by, just so even though you may be alone, someone is thinking of you. Maybe it's just me, but it's the little things like that that make you feel better. Just a quick phone call checking on you, offering to bring you soup. The little text saying they hope you sleep well.

At Tookie's today, as I'm sitting there miserable adding up all the people I will probably make sick, I started thinking about how old I am. I'm almost 25 and I feel nothing like 25. I still have my stuffed animal, Bert, that when I am sick, feeling lonely, I cuddle with. I like teeny bopper movies and ribbons in my hair. I still think boys have coodies, and I loves tire swings. I bite my nails and hate getting my hair cut. Then I started thinking about all the other things, that remind me how old I actually am. But I'll let those go. I feel like curling up with Bert and watching a movie.... sweet dreams

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The song is so wrong; thank you Chris Davis. But this is just too adorable!!

Fall is upon us

So after all the hubbub of not celebrating Halloween in the classroom, I have already begun wondering how I am to suppress my love for Christmas. I know it's not even Thanksgiving, but you know, 102.9 is already playing Christmas songs. I just can't wait to deck the halls, put up lights, increase the numbers of fires enjoyed with eggnog and hot chocolate. How can you not love this time of year!?

I finally got to wear my new Houndstooth rainboots today. They are so cute and I definitely wore them all day to show them off. Very comfortable, I must say. Just knowing the lining is pinks makes them 10 times more fabulous.

Sometimes I need to stop and take stock. Take a look at my life and what I've accomplished, or what I haven't. Make sure I am focused on my goals. Have my perspectives in order. It can be so easy to get sidetracked. It happens little by little sneaking in until you realize you're off track somehow. Sometimes looking back at old pictures helps me. You look at what you were, what you wanted at that time, and it makes you think. Some of my favorite pictures are of the ordinary days hanging out, those random nights out that turned fantastic. Or I remember those days we were all just sitting around and realized we wanted grilled cheese and tomato soup! How lucky we are that those little things are just that, little things. We can enjoy the small joys in life. So I'm getting back on track today. If you need to too, I hope this helps motivate. We can all do it. If you're reading this, I love you, and my life is more complete because of you. Thank you.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

again with the what-if

So my field hockey team lost yesterday. Because we lost it became the last game of the season. We were in the state tournament and we lost to Charlotte Latin (again in triple over time to strokes - like penalty kicks in soccer). I firmly believe, not just because I'm the coach, that we were the better team. but oh well, i suppose. Coming into this season I never expected the team to come together like this. I never expected us to be Conference Champions and go into the state tournament the #3 seed. In the end though, I expected us to go all the way and I feel a little cheated. I also never thought, that after just one season of coaching, I would be crying when trying to get the little speech after the game. I dont think a single girl on the team wasn't crying. I don't think it's because we're all girls we were crying. But when you work so hard for something and you know it could've all been yours, but instead just 20 yards away someone else is celebrating. Once again, on the long drive back from charlotte, a solid 3 hours in the rain and the dark, i played over and over the 'what-if' game. what if that ref, instead of coming up to me after the game and explaining that he missed the call, had actually called the foul on my player that had the break away in the 2nd overtime sudden death period so she would've gotten the ball at the top of the circle with only 1 defender. What if one of our all-state players hadn't had a hurt calf muslce (which now looks like she's torn it). What if...... In just one game, 74 minutes of one afternoon, I can play so many what-ifs. Imagine in life when you play that game.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

have you ever done the 'what-if' game? gone back to any one particular moment in your life and said i could've done this. where would i be now.......?

what if i had gone to a different boarding school? any other boarding school would've not led me here to raleigh. i know that for a fact. i went to EHS. reconnected with a family friend who went to my new rival highschool. became friends with his friends. became best friends with them. they came back to raleigh after college. and i shortly followed suit. so here i am.

what if i had decided on a different sorority? would i have become such good friends with Ro? would i have moved to Baltimore after graduation? i could've moved somewhere i aboslutely loved (which was not baltimore) and not come to raleigh because i was looking for something else.

so i guess what it all comes down to, is i think i've really found my home. the past 15 months have been very hard personally. but also the most life changing and rewarding months. i have had emergency (what was later deemed life threatening) surgery. i have been 'relocated' in my school being forced to change around and be more flexible than i ever though possible. i have had some of the most challenging times with friends. forcing to make difficult decisions about our future and wondering 'is this what friendship boils down to?' the real world has certainly not been all fun and games. and i have so much growing to do it takes my breathe away sometimes. but i am so lucky. i have a family that would pull out all the stops. i have friends that make me cry i miss them so. i have a job that is so rewarding even though it asks so much of me. sometimes i feel so old: how can i almost be 25 and feel so young???? but thank God for that. i am young, and though i may be stubborn as hell, highly opinionated, and pushy as all get-out, i am young. and i'm happy with the people around me, the world i'm trying to create, and i think, maybe, just maybe, one day... i'll get there

so who knows. but the whole 'what-if' game. you have to be careful with that one. you can't play with regrets.