"work day"

Today is our last day of "spring break". It is technically a workday but seeing how I am still sitting here at home and it's almost 10:30AM, I'm not breaking my neck to get into school this morning.

When I first started this blog, I used it as a sounding board, a place to vent, to let it out, to get feedback. A few minutes ago, the reason I logged into the computer was to come here and write about my weekend and everything that happened. When it comes down to it though, I'm just over it. Everyone has their problems, personally, romantically, and of course with their family. So why would you want to come here and hear me whine and complain. For those of you that do read me from time to time, thank you for all my previous whine sessions.

I watched a movie last night when I couldn't sleep called "Mister 11". I needed a mindless stupid (what I thought to be a) rom-com. It was not so much. It's about a woman so obsessed with numbers and statistics, that on her wedding day she throws everything away because she finds out that the man she just married was not actually her number 11. How stupid. But me not letting things just be as simple as they are and needing to make it all that much more deep and complicated, let my mind run away with it. It just shows how we take stupid little inane things and let them screw up the big picture. We are all so scared. OK, maybe not all of us, but I sure am. I look at my time here in Raleigh; 4 years in August. I have not had a single legit relationship. I've had things that I longed to be real, prayed one day would be everything I imagined. I wasted time with guys being exactly what they wanted and nothing that I did. It took a coworker of mine, a married woman with 3 children, 30 seconds to tell me how messed up in the head I was after me whining about my (lack of a) romantic life. It's not their fault I fall for guys that are emotionally unavailable at the time. I did it so I knew I was safe and it would end on it's own. I don't know if I'm ready for something real now, but I don't want to end up looking back and be able to say I didn't try. I'm ready to try and open up and let someone in. And I know, that if it doesn't work out, I have people in my life that love me and support me and I'll be OK.

So, long story now short: I think I met someone. We've hung out a grand total of 3 times, only 1 official date, but he's a sweetheart. Nothing like I ever really looked for, but sometimes, that's what you need to get things jump started. So I'm trying to play it cool, if he likes me he likes me, if not, we move on. BUT, here's to the man friend. Thanks for coming around at the perfect time.